My Life Was Changed And Taken Away From Me
by LoverOfABlack
Summary: Something happened in my past, something that involves me and all those that choose to surround me. My family does not want me; I do not want my future. Perfect worlds are no longer attainable.
1. Chapter 1

It was the one place I never wanted to see, yet I had nowhere else to go. It was my last resort and with no one else to turn to, I had to visit the last man my father had spoken of before he died. He had been taken from me, stripped of his pride and family before being tortured and poisoned, leaving him to slowly die and burn from the inside out. It was the castle that haunted my nightmares, prevented me from dreaming peacefully even though I had never physically seen it or been close.

"Demi, we have to keep going," my sister breathed to me. She knew my fear, just how much I was afraid of approaching that castle; she'd seen into my mind and seen the images of the school burning and people dying. Something I never wanted to witness again.

Being unaware of where my sister had led me, I was shocked when she suddenly stopped in front of a statue of a gargoyle, something odd about where we were. Hearing her speak the name of a candy, I stared as the statue began to move, completely terrified by what was happening. I knew where we were in the castle; I knew what was going to occur in this room in the years to come. There was devastation surrounding them all.

"_He can save you,"_ she thought, ensuring I could hear as a greying man ushered us into an immaculate office that had paintings above the doorway that were all watching us intently.

"Miss Greengrass, to what do I owe this pleasure?" the man asked, as he stepped in front of us again. Swiftly, my sister pointed me from the room, afraid of what would happen if I remained. She was the only one I had left, that would speak to me; my mother disowning me when she found out about my dreams, my father taking me on the run with him only to meet a messy end himself.

Slowly, I turned my back, retreating to the staircase we had just ascended, the door softly closing behind me. Sitting on the top step, I leaned against the wall, letting my eyes close as I tried to block out all thoughts of my nightmares.

Hearing laughter echoing up the stairs, I jumped to my feet as footsteps suddenly thundered up the stairs I was at the top of. Seeing the faces of four joyous men, I froze, scared of what they could possibly do. I was unarmed, alone and in foreign surroundings that I only knew from dreams. I was terrified of what they could do. They immediately stopped as they caught sight of me, their eyes swiftly studying me as one took the last step up the stairs, now being directly in front of me.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned, his voice was charming, as though he knew he would get the answer he desired. Whimpering, I crouched again, waiting for his hand to strike. Hearing him take a shuffled step back and a door fly open, I let of a muffled sob, afraid of what was going to happen.

A hand rested on my shoulder, shaking me out of my fear and causing me to respond, my hand reaching out to hit someone, only to be restrained by my sister's touch.

"Demi, no one will touch you here, please, trust this place," she pleaded, attempting to hold onto me as I began to panic. I was surrounded, there was no way for me to escape, and they weren't going to let me go. My sister's arms had suddenly disappeared and as I backed away, I began to fall, faster than I thought was possible, another body colliding with my own and falling also as my consciousness faded.


	2. Chapter 2

I felt numb as I woke, like something had held me under water for far too long. I desired a breath and something to quench my thirst, feeling the thud on my chest, it caused me to breath. Coughing, I was forced to be sat upright, the touch on my back unfamiliar, a distant voice was my sister's. Attempting to even my breaths, I refused to open my eyes, desiring to feel my father's arms around me again but knowing I never could.

"Nastya," I called, hoping she would be the only one touching me when she reached my side. Fortunately, she shooed away whoever was holding me up, her hands touching my shoulders before wrapping around me as I fought the trembles that were wracking my body.

"Demi, it's okay, I won't hurt you," she whispered, holding me close as tears leaked from my eyes, the first time I'd cried since my father's torture and death. Gripping her shirt, I completely broke down, unable to be strong or hold my emotions in. It was the first time she had had to comfort me, the first time she had seen my weakness.

Finally opening my eyes, I looked up into her pale green ones, the concern and pain visible as she watched me cautiously. Having her wipe away my tears, I felt the comfort I desired to gain, but it was not from the correct person. It had the effect it needed to though, my tears had ceased.

Looking over her shoulder, the four men were standing around the bright white room, two of them quite close together. Something was off about the way they were watching me and my sister, as if they knew something about what was going to happen next.

"Why are we still here?" I questioned, as the two closest avoided my gaze.

"I must return to mother, you must remain here, continue where father left off. I cannot protect you from them all," she explained, her words giving rise to my panic.

"No, you promised not to leave me, I have no one else. Nastya, you can't do this to me, not now...please," I begged as she slowly pulled away from my. Reaching out to her, arms wrapped around me to prevent me from leaving the bed, but I fought. The last of my family, the last person to care about me was leaving me alone in a place I never desired to be.


	3. Chapter 3

All I could hear were my sister's last words before she left. They were resounding in my head, like a broken record, sending shoots of pain through my every time I thought of how lifeless she sounded when she spoke them. With my knees drawn to my chest, I watched the sun go down; pass from day into night, students of the school passing in and out.

"Are you okay?" a soft feminine voice called to me, scaring me and forcing me to my feet. Seeing a girl my own age staring at me, I froze, unable to find the will to flee. Her bright green eye's clearly revealing her concern as I fought with my natural instincts.

"I don't know you...I don't want to be here...Please don't make me stay here," I pleaded, backing into a wall and sliding to the ground. I raised my knees to my chest again, an attempt to protect myself, a guard that was easily broken through. Hearing footsteps enter the room, I began to tremble, fearing who was going to approach me, whose face I would recognise from all my nightmares.

"Demitria, you do not have to be afraid of Miss Evans, there is nothing to fear in this room child," a familiar voice cooed, attempting to calm me.

"You all will die before this is over," I breathed, recognising the faces from vague memories. The girl who had first approached me was pretty; her long, thick, dark red hair framed her face as she watched me closely, gauging my reaction. She stood a few inches taller than me; a slim, athletic build revealing how petite she really was.

Glancing at one of the men around her side, he was gazing at me just as intently as she was, his honey brown eyes gazing over my body, trying to figure out why I was reacting the way I was. Faintly, there were scars over one cheek, shadows around his eyes as though he barely slept. There was something he was hiding, his light brown hair long enough to cover one eye, masking something in his gaze.

Slowly, the elderly man from the office stepped forward, his sparkling blue eyes seemingly able to see straight into my soul, seeing everything I desired to bury deep inside. His hand carefully reached out as soon as he was at least a meter away, waiting for me to accept his offer to help me to my feet. Cautiously, I rested my hand in his own, his touch soft but firm as he lifted me to my feet, his lined face calculating as he led me back to the bed, sitting me one the edge once more.

"Miss Evans is going to be sharing a room with you, she does not wish to harm you my dear," he said, a hand gently running over my hair in a gesture of comfort. As the girl stepped forward, her black robes billowed out behind her, catching one of the men's attentions, his hazel eyes following her moments as she came to stop in front of me.

"It's dangerous to be here," I stated, purposefully not taking in his words. The castle was part of my nightmares, the tallest towers ablaze with fire and the courtyard outside the front door littered with dead bodies.

"None of the students are allowed to harm you, and for precaution you will take the name Calixtus. Your father's death will not be in vain," the elder man spoke again. Staring at him, his words finally caused me to register the meaning behind my sister fleeing and my father's suffering became clearer. They all desired for me to remain safe.


	4. Chapter 4

I was being led up countless staircases; the girl from the infirmary leading me towards what I was told was a common room. She was called Lily, prefect in her 6th year at the school, one of the men from earlier was also a prefect, but I was not told which. She seemed nice, her smile welcoming, as though she was trying to reassure me, so I didn't try to flee again.

Standing in front of a painting of a rather large woman who was talking to another woman within the portrait who had a bottle of wine, Lily spoke a few quick words before it swung open. It had been a few years since I had seen a moving portrait, but seeing it reveal a common room full of students I blanched, afraid they would try and harm me.

Having my hand clasped within hers, I was whisked through the room and up another staircase before she led me down the hall to the last room. It was semicircular, three beds with trunks at the end of two. The empty bed was furthest from the door, closest to the window.

"Yours is the last bed, I don't know what's going to happen about your trunk though. Do you have any other clothes?" she asked cautiously, walking closer to the bed she'd indicated. Reaching into the pocket of my jeans, I fished out the trunk my sister had shrunk for me, unable to return it to its normal size, without scaring off someone who could potentially help me. It was then that I realised I had no wand, I was useless in their eyes without one, although I could do magic without it.

"I don't have a wand," I told her quietly, as she watched me place it on the floor beside the bed. Looking up to her eyes, I recognised the shock held in them, but she swiftly shook it off and returned the trunk to its normal size with a flick of her wand. "It was taken from me and broken, then burned." Those words were my explanation as a sat on the edge of the bed, my back rigidly straight, afraid of what would happen when we had to go to sleep.

"You don't have to explain, we won't push you to explain if you don't want to. It's not our place to pry," she stated, cautiously sitting next to me. Her hand rested on my own, which were folded in my lap; her touch hesitant but reassuring as I fought the need to panic.

Turning a hand over, I grasped hers tightly, not squeezing, just trying not to feel like she would leave. I strained a smile to her, trying to convey my thanks, struggling to be who I used to be.

"Be my friend?" I asked quietly. "I've never had the chance to have one, please." I knew I was pleading, but she was the first person to accept me for whom I was without even knowing what had happened to me. Obviously, she saw the tears which were threatening to fall, resulting in her drawing me into a hug, her arms surrounding me as I fought the sudden urge to run.

As she rubbed her hands up and down my back, she quietly murmured "I planned to anyway, you shouldn't be alone." Her words were ones no one had ever spoken to me, my mother had assured me I was a freak, that I would never be accepted because of what I could do.

Slowly, she pulled away from me, her hands grasping my own when she saw my tears. I had never allowed someone to see me cry except for my brother, the only person who had come close enough to me to see the effects my mother had had on me besides our father.

"Lily, it's time for dinner," a voice called from the doorway, causing me to scramble to my feet, the desire to flee raised from its hiding spot.

"No one is going to hurt you, no one here has met you before," Lily spoke as she approached me again, the girl in the doorway wearing an expression of shock. Slowly, I calmed myself, allowing Lily to lead me from the room, the other girl walking with us down the winding staircase to the common room, which had emptied within the ten minutes we had been in the dormitory.

"I'm Alice by the way, you must be Demi. The boys mentioned you earlier, something about you being a transfer," the girl spoke as we started down the halls, Lily's hand holding onto my own as I fought the urges to run. Somehow she knew what I feared and refused to let go of my hand, even as we entered the dining hall.

Heads turned to watch us as they led me to an empty part of the table furthest from the large oak doors. As I gazed around the room, most eyes avoided my own, so I looked upwards to see the sky reflected on the ceiling with floating candles flooding the room in light. I was amazed, as I was pulled down into a seat, the chatter in the room picking up again, as my attention was brought back to the table.

"Hungry?" Alice asked with a sly smile, as I cautiously reached out to collect some of the roasted potatoes on the table. Smiling in return, I only allowed 3 pieces of food on my plate, a look of surprise rising on those around me. Slyly, I raised my hand over the plate, my own way of checking my food was safe; something my father had taught me when he was alive.

Glancing up at the man across the table from me, he looked slightly stunned, his fork halfway to his mouth. It was the same boy from the infirmary, the boy with the honey brown eyes. They remained with a tired aspect to them, but also a burning sort of curiosity, something which happened to amuse me. Slowly, I began to cautiously eat, following the same routine every time I put something new on my plate, cautious to every degree of what was surrounding me.

Having the plates suddenly clear themselves when everyone was finished, I froze, a sense of panic washing over me. Feeling Lily's hand rest on my own, I looked up at her instantly having reassurance rush over me by the calming look in her eyes. Slowly, other students began standing, slowly leaving the hall, the sounds of the conversations echoing around the room in a rush of noise. Thankfully, we waited till last, Alice and the four men remaining also, watching me cautiously as I watched every other student leave. With only a few left in the hall, we slowly clambered to our feet, my movements freezing as I caught sight of someone familiar across the hall. She was younger than me, also shorter, her eyes a stunning green, lighter than Lily's, more towards gray.

"Demi?" Lily questioned, bringing me back to what was going on around me. Smiling, I pulled her along, her hand still grasping my own as we started up the grand staircase, no one else around us except for those who had sat with me.

"I think I'm going to be lost very soon," I joked as we rushed up the third staircase. Turning back to those who were following me, they all seemed out of breath, the rush taking the energy from them.

"You are fit to be able to run that with ease," one the men managed to gasp out, hands on his knees as he attempted to regain his normal breathing.

"Pad, you should be able to run this easily, what happened to you?" another spoke, clapping his friend on the back as he stepped closer to me and Lily, his approach having an effect on the girl next to me. A flash of anger crossed his face, the reason unknown but it was an aspect which startled me, causing me to let go of Lily and take a few steps back in reaction.

Swiftly, the one with honey brown eyes was standing in front of me, all of them standing with stunned looks on their faces as he stood between his friend and me. Slowly, I backed away further, the glint that was in those hazel eyes that was incredibly familiar.

"James, what the hell do you think you're doing? Dumbledore said not to intimidate her and you're not helping," the one protecting me spoke, a warning tone in his voice. It was strange to think that someone was protecting me, only two people had ever done such a thing; my father and my sister, and neither could do that now.

Watching them closely, I noticed that they were both standing at their tallest, as though they were going to fight over such a small problem. Finally following my instinct, I fled, running before any of them could stop me, knowing I had no clue of where I was going; I just wanted a way out. Having the light suddenly dim, I stopped, moving to an archway and sliding to the floor, drawing my knees to my chest again. In my own way, it gave me a sense of protection. The wall protected my back, my knees preventing anyone to reach my heart; I was protecting myself even though I was meant to be safe.


	5. Chapter 5

"Demi?" Someone was calling to me. Drawing me back to my own mind, away from the burning pain I was feeling through my nightmare.

"Demi?" It called again, the voice familiar, but also haunting. Carefully, I opened my eyes, the dim light allowing me to see one of the men from dinner crouching before me. His honey brown eyes were searching my eyes for something, as though he was hoping to find out what I was thinking. Watching him cautiously, I finally figured out the familiarity I felt about him, the aspect that my youngest brother had with him.

"Werewolf," I muttered, causing panic to cross his face, as though he was terrified of what he truly was. Suddenly, he was on his feet, anger flashing in his eyes, mixed with pain and torment. "Please don't be angry, I won't tell anyone, I swear," I pleaded, finally clambering to my feet. As I stumbled, he took a step forward, catching my forearms in a firm grip to steady me.

"How do you know?" he questioned as he began to lead me down the maze of hallways.

"My brother is one; the look in your eyes is so familiar, like you know that your human but you have another side, the animal side. It's not my secret to tell though, your secret is safe," I explained hesitantly. He was surprised, a look of awe in his eyes, as I tried to remain calm enough to walk with him naturally.

Silently, he led me up a staircase, returning us to the grand staircase that we ascended after dinner, one I didn't remember running back down. He seemed to take calculated steps, as though he was waiting for me to panic again, one of his hands resting gently against the small of my back as he guided me along.

"Demi," Lily called as we entered the common room, immediately rushing to me, collecting me in her arms. For a moment, I stood completely still, unsure of how to react, until it sank in that she really cared about me, I wasn't alone anymore.

"I'm sorry," I breathed as I raised my arms to hug her in return. "Thank you," I added to the man who was beside me, as I pulled away from Lily, her hand finding my own again. He strained a smile, a look of distrust crossing his face as he stepped away, towards the staircase to his own dormitory.

Lily instantly hauled me up the stairs, heading straight to our dormitory, where Alice was seated on the bed closest to the door, reading on of the text books. She glanced up, smiling softly before returning her concentration to the words on the page. Slowly, I walked over to the bed that I was told was my own, seating myself on the edge, aware that Lily was watching me closely.

"James is sorry, he didn't know that you would react that way, he does things without thinking sometimes. Please don't take it out on him," she stated, as though there was something more to her words. Watching her closely as she sat herself next to me, her eyes didn't meet my own, her hands folded on her lap and a small smile gracing her face.

"Do you love him?" I asked quietly, to receive the answer of Alice having a coughing fit from the other end of the room.

"No, why would you ask such a thing?" Lily responded far too quickly to be believable. Smirking, she looked at me in disbelief, as though I was asking something absolutely crazy, yet her answer told me something completely different.

"Your reaction say's otherwise," I stated, knowing it would allow her to think of what was happening with her own feelings. Standing again, I stepped through to the bathroom that was connected to our dormitory, the room empty, allowing me to forget the threatening feelings that others seem to inflict on me without knowing.

I was clean as I stepped back into the dormitory, both Lily and Alice already in bed, both reading a book as I moved to my trunk. It had not been opened since my father had died; I only knew that my clothes were inside, nothing that my father or sister had added. Carefully, I inched in open, surprised to find my mother's pearl necklace to be sitting on top of my clothes, the trunk fuller then I thought it was going to be.

Finally being clad in my short pyjama shorts and singlet top, I closed my trunk again, my father's ring clasped in my hand as I sat on the edge of the bed again. Gazing down at the ring, I studied it closely; unsure as to why it was in my possession instead of my older brothers. It was simple, a gold band that had a single sapphire in the centre, initials carved in around. It reminded me of when I was younger, when my younger brother asked him about what it meant. The eldest son of the eldest son always had the same initials and therefore inherited the same ring which had been passed down for generations.

"Are you okay?" Lily questioned as she sat next to me. I hadn't even noticed her leave her own bed, but her concern was evident as she reached out to clasp my hand.

"Just thinking," I breathed in an answer. Glancing up she smiled, her worry clear but I was attempting to hide my pain. "I think sleep is all I need right now though," I continued, moving to place the ring back in the trunk, and lay down on the bed. She remained on the edge for a moment, a cautious smile on her face, her bright green eyes holding a sense of comfort to me although she was worried.

"Goodnight Demi," she replied, before she stood up, and returned to her own bed. Both Alice and Lily placed their books on their bedside tables before wishing each other goodnight and eliminated the light, flooding the room in darkness.

Slowly, I drifted into my dreams, my new home welcoming me with open arms, even though I had seen the future of what would occur to such a beautiful place. I had given the warning and now it was time for me to wait to see when it would happen.


	6. Chapter 6

"Come on Demi, we're going to be late," Lily called as we rushed down the hallways. It was my own fault that we were running late; I had had a panic attack at waking somewhere I found unfamiliar, causing us to miss breakfast and only allowing us a few moments to reach our first class. Halting in front of the classroom door, Lily was out of breath, my own normal, as I paused for a moment. Cautiously, I pushed open the door, taking a hesitant step in, the Professors eyes immediately trained in on my own, a swift nod allowing us to go to our seats, both at the back away from prying eyes.

It was strange to be sitting in a classroom, learning about the magic which my father had found necessary to teach me when I was younger. The non-verbal spells seemed to stump most students; they were unable to grasp the idea that words were useless. Sitting in the back of the class, all I could do was sit and watch, not allowed to do any magic without my wand.

The menial words of spells that my father had once spoken were something I despised going over again, yet I had to distance myself from the class, knowing my emotions could get the best of me. As Lily finally mastered changing her jewellery box into a teapot without uttering a word, I made sure no one was watching before changing it back, causing her jaw to drop in disappointment when she glanced down again. Swiftly, she tried again, raising her hand to gather the Professors attention, allowing me to change it again. I wasn't trying to be mean to her, just challenge her so she knew exactly what was occurring. As the Professor finally stopped at the edge of the desk, Lily was becoming frustrated with her attempts, the Professors eyes watching me cautiously.

"Miss Calixtus please stop changing her teapot; you shouldn't be using your magic anyway at this point," she warned, Lily turning to face me, flushed from the effort of having to continually redo the spell.

"Sorry, it won't happen again," I replied, turning back to the textbook I had in front of me. I was frustrated with being unable to do any magic because I didn't have my wand, it felt as though I had a disability, like I was behind them all because of what I wasn't allowed to do.

"How did you do that?" Lily questioned as soon as the Professor was out of earshot. Shaking my head, I didn't look up from the words I was reading, knowing it was something I wasn't allowed to explain. Keeping my head down for the rest of the lesson, I tried my hardest to reign in the magic I knew was dying to escape, something which usually got the chance to be free. Finally having the class dismissed, I waited for a few moments, Lily watching me again as the men from the infirmary stopped at our desk, waiting as we packed up our bags.

"How is your morning Ladies?" James spoke, his arm instantly going around Lily's shoulders, a smile creeping onto her face.

"Better for Lily now that you're here obviously," I stated, watching them closely as I moved to leave the room. Her frustration seemed to have left, the challenge I had presented to her forgotten as I moved around the four boys. As I entered the hall, a familiar hand rested against the small of my back guiding me down the staircases towards our next class. Knowing that the rest of the group was following, I allowed the hand to linger, even as we stood outside the classroom in the dungeons, his touch keeping me calm.

"Ah... Miss Calixtus, it's a pleasure to finally meet you; so many good things have been circulating about your talents. Tell me, how is your father?" the Professor questioned as he allowed us to enter the room, winking as he spoke my name.

"He's dead," was all I stated as I walked past him, the man at my side sitting me to the left side of the room, taking the stool next to me as the Professor made his way to the front of the class. His belly seemed to weigh down the bounce in his step as he explained the potion he desired for us to make. Thankfully it was one which was necessary for my father, the blood-replenishing potion which saved his life more than once.

Carefully, the man next to me and myself worked around each other, both doing jobs that managed to aid the other without getting in each other's ways. It seemed like no time at all had passed throughout the class, yet when I looked up at the instructions one last time, the final words were what I had just done. Our potion was periwinkle blue which it was necessary to be, something I was not expecting to see so quickly.

Watching the man I had been working with, he looked just as surprised for a moment, before peering into the cauldron next to us, reassuring him we were finished. Slowly, he raised his hand, catching the attention of the Professor, causing him to rush over to us as fast as his swollen belly would allow.

"Well done, the newest student knows how to brew potions it seems. Where did you learn this? Surely it wasn't your father?" he questioned, a subtle look of awe in his eyes.

"Yes, it was my father, he had his own natural talent," I replied calmly, avoiding looking towards him, instead bottling a vial of the potion before cleaning it away. I could feel eyes watching me as I collected my bag, moving to leave the room with the man who seemingly protected me following me closely.

As we walked, words were not spoken; the silence remained, him guiding me as we headed to the dining hall. Being seated at the house table, I finally turned to the man who had led me, his stunning brown eyes full with concern.

"What was he talking about with your father?" he questioned, his curiosity and concern clear.

"My father attended this school quite a few years ago; he was top of his class, which was unexpected with his background. Just before I came here my father was killed, forcing me to come. I never wanted to be here, I don't want to be here in any way at all. This is a place, even my father never saw me coming," I explained shortly, feeling pain by speaking the words. Immediately, I was collected in his arms, although I refused for any tears to fall, his hold comforting as I buried the pain I felt as deep as I could.

As he pulled away, I caught a waft of his scent, the cinnamon and chocolate smells enticing me, but also scaring me. Turning back to my plate, I picked at the bread roll that was there, one hand remaining clasped in the hand of the man beside me.

"It's stupid, I don't even know your name, but I feel like I can trust you because of what you are despite what others think," I explained, finding that eating was just making me feel ill.

"I'm Remus, the one who scared you was James, and the one always at his side is Sirius. The last one is Peter, he doesn't really talk to anyone but the three of us," he explained, a hint of laughter in his voice. Elbowing him lightly, he chuckled, causing me to smile, his entire persona allowing me to feel at ease.

"Slughorn seemed impressed," a male voice spoke as some sat on the other side of the table. Looking up, my eyes were enchanted by the pale blue of the man seated across the table from me. He was smiling warmly, James sitting on his other side, while Lily sat beside me. Watching the man before me, I was aware that Remus was still holding my hand, but his eyes were attracting my concentration and he was aware of it himself.

"He was impressed by the memory of my father, not by the extent of my own talents; especially seeing as its obvious he only desires trophy students. I refuse to become one," I stated, allowing him to know I was not to be pushed around. He was amused, the emotion evident in his eyes as I attempted to draw away my own gaze which finally worked.

"Who was your father?" he questioned curiosity in his voice.

"None of your concern," I replied, before standing and leaving the hall. Questions about my father always raised my anger, even when he was alive. No one understood just how hard of a man he truly was, except for me and possibly my brother, the only people who had gotten even remotely close to him.

Standing on the front steps of the school, I watched over the grounds, allowing the breeze to wash over me, taking away the rogue magic that arose with my anger. It was audibly crackling on the wind, a release that I hadn't used in weeks, not since my father's death. The lake rippled in the distance with the movement of the creatures that lived within, the forest to the right of the castle casting a short shadow over the grounds as the groundskeepers' dog ran around, chasing the stray chicken that had escaped its confines. A lone tree was to the left of the doors, a willow that looked peaceful, like a perfect place to be alone, but obviously had another story to its origin. Thankfully, there were no other students around, no one to see my release, but was aware that anyone could come out and catch me and think I was a freak.

"Demi, are you out here?" I heard Lily call as the doors slowly opened behind me. Panicking, I was unable to reign in my magic, the last flickers of its power continuing to crackle as she stepped out, Remus, Sirius and James following behind her. All stopped a few steps short of me, my mind immediately jumping into overdrive as I struggled to fight with my own magic.

"I can explain," I spoke out, my panic getting the better of me, backing away from them all as I felt the surges grow stronger. I was unable to reign in my own magic, it had finally escaped my grasp and I was afraid what it would do to those I had come to know. Watching Remus take a hesitant step forward, I staggered backwards, away from his hand which outstretched towards me. Only one thing could reel it back in and I was unsure of whether I could find the strength my father had assured me I could reach. Tears began to cascade down my cheeks as I struggled against the magic, knowing if it took full control, it would wreak its own havoc on my surroundings.

"You won't hurt me," Remus assured me as he began to approach again, forcing me to step away in panic, unwilling to hurt someone who helped me feel comfort. Suddenly, I felt nothing under my foot as I took one last step, my magic flaring to stop me from falling, rushing me into the Remus' arms before disappearing altogether, reigning itself back under my control.

Feeling his arms clasp me to his chest, I completely broke, my tears falling in the pain of every aspect of my life that had brought me to this school. Words were being spoken around me as my misery took control, the grief of being alone again was overbearing. I felt Remus help me to my feet as my tears continued to fall, blinding me as to where he was leading me. It seemed like only moments later, I was being seated in the edge of a bed, Remus moving away for a moment before I grasped the front of his robes, preventing him from moving any further.

"Demi, I'm not going to leave you, Madam Pomfrey needs to make sure your okay though, I'll be next to you though," he breathed while gently prising my hands away from his chest. Carefully, I was laid down, Remus' hands softly resting against my shoulders as tears continued to fall, an ache reverberating in my chest.

Feeling waves of the ladies magic wash over, my sobs increased in intensity, a panic also rising, forcing my body to bolt upright, away from Remus' hold only to have him wrap his arms around me. Struggling to draw in a breath, I heard his murmured words, the gibberish which seemed to flow from his mouth as I struggled against his hold, desiring to leave the castle altogether.

Feeling his hands gently rub up and down my back, I felt the touch begin to calm me, his aroma enchanting me as I continued to fight against him. Slowly, I reluctantly relaxed, his body attempting to move away, yet I refused, unwilling to release his shirt as he lay me down again. Words were vaguely spoken around me, my mind blocking them out, keeping me in my own section away from communicating with others. Someone was moving me as a form lay beside me on the bed, their warmth causing me to draw them closer. Distantly I could register that it was Remus at my side but was unable to link it together with what was occurring. I just desired someone to be at my side, to prevent me from feeling alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Waking, I felt cold, like something was missing from the cocoon of blankets that surrounded me. I was missing that hold I was certain I had before I fell asleep. Groaning, I rolled onto my back, searching for my warmth, only to have a hand gently touch my shoulder, jolting me completely awake. Sitting upright, I scuttled away from the touch, my eyes reaching those of Remus, who was panicked, attempting to calm me once again. Being drawn into his arms, I drew in a deep breath, attempting to be calmed by him.

"I'm not leaving," he breathed as he finally managed to hold me within his arms. Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, only a minimal amount falling as he softly rocked his body to calm me. Clutching his shirt, I was reluctant to release him even as I heard voices begin to approach us; familiar voices that I knew would not harm us.

"How is she?" I heard Lily's voice faintly, a hand softly touching my thigh as I finally looked up to take in my surroundings. She strained a smile as I caught her gaze, her eyes clearly showing her concern for the situation surrounding me.

"Madame Pomfrey just said she needs to grieve and cope in her own way. Dumbledore was saying that her magic has always been touchy, she can control it but she doesn't have the training we do. There are so many things going on, Lily, I only got told the basics because they want me to look out for her, she knows me more than expected," Remus explained, his hold on me gentle again, not having to restrain me any longer.

"She seems calmer with you Remus then with anyone else or even when she's sleeping, something about you has her calm and she trusts you, that much is obvious," Lily breathed as she perched herself on the edge of the bed.

"I may be calm around him but I haven't trusted anyone since my father's death, and even then he has been the only man I have trusted in the past five years. Even Nastya has not been trusted by him. I should not be here though, it is not safe, no one is until He is defeated," I spoke, remaining blank as I gazed at Lily's hand resting on my thigh.

"What do you mean?" Remus questioned, forcing me to meet his gaze as I was determined to avoid his eyes.

"By the end of this war, we will all be dead, whether we survive the first or second is debatable. What I know will not change how the course of your lives plays out but it will make you fear your future. No one should know what I do; no one should be able to know their fate before it is their time. It is not a gift to wish for or even think of, it is a form of torture," I continued, his captivatingly familiar eyes attempting to see past the blank expression I held.

Slowly, I separated myself from him, clambering to my feet before striding to the window to gaze out at the grounds below. The sunset was allowing the castle to cast shadows over the grounds, the rays of light showing some of the depth of the forbidden forest. As I watched the last remaining students move from their positions at the edge of the lake, the two people I had left on the bed had moved to be standing behind me, Lily resting her hand on my shoulder.

"We don't think our futures are of importance, if we can enjoy our life every day, why should we be so concerned about what is to come. War is a part of life that no one in this world can escape. Now Demi, can we have you back, even if you are untrusting? It's you that we want to have with us, not whatever you think we want you for, you're our friend." Lily's words were ones I had never been told before, even as I turned to face her, I knew she was telling the truth, something that was rare to have someone tell me. Her eyes held her sincerity, causing me to collect her in my arms, the first shred of happiness to consume me in years.

I knew she was shocked as I held her close, refusing to let go even as I felt Remus rest his hand on my shoulder. Forcefully, he pulled me away, a smile remaining on my face as I turned to look him in the eyes. For a moment his eyes remained clouded before a look of recognition crossed his face, a smile appearing on him as well.


	8. Chapter 8

It was well after midnight when my appetite re-emerged, James and Sirius joking about the disappearances meaning. None of them brought up anything to do with my loss of control, just had concern for five minutes before retelling the fun they had that afternoon playing pranks on the Slytherins. Remus had his nose in a book, ignoring the laughter of his friends whilst Lily attempted to berate them only to have her concerns fall on deaf ears.

My only concern was I was so consumed in my laughter; I was leaving behind all that meant something to me. I was able to act my own age again but I felt like I was putting aside the thoughts of my father and sister, although I knew they wanted me to feel safe and be happy. I had been alone in my own mind, away from other people my own age that I had become so consumed in watching for my father's return that I had missed people I could be close to and the friendship's I could have had. I was finally living my own life again.

Hearing my stomach rumble in its attempt to gain food, I laughed at the horrified expressions on James and Sirius's faces, while the rumble of Remus' chuckle could be heard from behind me.

"Time for the kitchen's" Remus mumbled as James sprinted up the stairs, briefly after Lily had finally gone to bed. Turning to look at him, I sent him a questioning stare which he returned with a knowing look. Seeing James reappear with a cloak, I rolled my eyes, standing and stepping to his side before softly running a hand over the top of his head, casting my magic on him. I knew that within his grasp he held an invisibility cloak, but my magic was just as powerful if not stronger.

Watching his form slowly disappear from view, he shook out his hands like most did before they too were rendered invisible. Turning back to Remus, both him and Sirius looked at me with an expression of awe, stunned as to how I managed to make him invisible without a wand.

"I have the strength to control it but sometimes it can control me. It's sometimes a gift and sometimes a burden, for now though, it's convenient." Were all the words I spoke before doing the same to Sirius and myself. Seeing Remus' grin, he placed his book on the table before standing and facing where he last saw me with arms outstretched as an invitation to include him.

"Remus is going to break the rules, while he's prefect? Demi, we are glad you're here, he's been so strict since he became prefect, now we have someone to return him to his devilish ways," Sirius jeered as I ruffled Remus' hair as I stepped past, placing him under the same illusion as the others. Somehow, I was able to see all those I had charmed although they could not see each other and the blank gazes they omitted as they searched the room for any sign of another.

Walking between the three, I grasped the hands of Remus and James before linking them together and reaching out for Sirius'. Watching the three, they all stared around, awe present on their faces as I waited patiently for them to come to terms with what had just occurred.

"Lead the way Sirius, we're all in a line behind you," I spoke finally, causing them all to jump.

"Whose hand do I have?" James questioned before Sirius took a step.

"Remus', I have Remus' other hand and Sirius'. I can see all of you so you won't be lost but don't let go and be quiet unless you want to get caught," I explained rapidly as Sirius yanked me forward and out the portrait hole.

Wandering down the staircases in the darkness and under the cover of invisibility, I managed to forget all about the dreams that haunted me, the destruction that would occur to the castle. My smile was wide as Sirius began to slow, reaching the end of a passage that only had a portrait on the wall. Watching him reach forward as he finally stopped, he tickled the pear which resided to the left of the bowl of fruit. Amazed, I watched it squirm for a moment before transforming into a doorknob which he grasped and pulled the painting open to reveal a room.

Swiftly, I lifted the enchantment over the four of us, allowing them to see my look of astonishment as Remus helped me into the room. Suddenly we were surrounded by tiny forms, all gushing as they desired to know what we wanted, all trying to get an idea of what we were there for. Watching James crouch as he spoke to one they all became silent, listening to every word as one grasped my hand and led me from the entrance. House elves. It had been years since I had last seen one, my father freeing the last of his before he left my mother, infuriating her but pleasing himself.

"Sit, Miss, sit. Denny will get the Miss some tea, nice hot tea for the Miss," the elf gushed as he stopped at a seat next to a table. Looking back to the others, they were all smiling widely, satisfied with themselves as they came to sit beside me.

"It's been a while since I've seen a house elf; my father set free all of his before he left. My mother was less than impressed, tried to set a curse on him but failed miserably," I said, allowing a smile to show as I studied the room, noticing the four long tables set out much like the ones in the great hall.

"We're directly below the great hall, they make the food and send it up," Remus stated, obviously seeing the look of confusion crossing my face.

"Your father did the more respectable thing though, better then my mother who breeds them and when they get to old, decapitate them and put their heads on a stick in the foyer. It's ridiculous how much of a sadist she is," Sirius spoke, ignoring Remus' words but holding an expression of loathing on his face.

"Sadists are what make the world go round, if there were none it would be a boring world," I answered, turning to him and looking him straight in the eyes. He returned the same blank gaze for a moment before I registered where I knew those eyes from.

Swiftly, I stood, moving away from the trio, knowing they would be confused as to why I was distancing myself. Turning away, I raced through the memories, attempting to filter the face, see any point that he had appeared. I stopped when I saw him falling, a smile present but also a look of shock crossing his eyes, while a familiar wild haired woman stood laughing.

"Demi, what's wrong?" Remus questioned as I fell to my knees. Tears slid down my checks, etching their all too familiar path as arms wrapped around me from behind.

"Too many people will die, so many will try to protect those they love but it won't matter, they still won't survive." I remained blank, refusing to look behind me at them, concentrating on the floor before me, even as I heard a door open and close.

Hearing the men behind me gasp in panic, I finally lifted my gaze to see the Professor from my Nightmare's before me. His wrinkled face showing clearly his concern as her periwinkle eyes showed the amusement of the reactions of the others.

"Demitria, you should not scare people in such a way. Knowing our futures will help us no more than knowing the past. What happens will happen and what has been done is in the past," he stated, reaching out his hand to me once more. Accepting his hand, he helped me to my feet again, whilst pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and handing it to me. Wiping the tears from my cheeks, he lifted a hand to cup my cheek, knowing my fear was not empty, knowing what I knew could make people think fighting was pointless.

"My father died to protect me, and I keep seeing things that will destroy the hope of hundreds. I can only die to protect them or this will not end the right way," I tried to explain, my meaning confusing even myself.

"Have you ever seen your own death?" he questioned, an aspect to his gaze unrecognizable.

"No, but I have seen yours," I breathed. He blanched for a moment, before ceasing all contact with me and stepping around me towards the men behind me. Hearing a chair scrape on the floor, I turned to see the Professor seated beside James and across from Sirius, a house elf immediately at his side with a cup of steaming tea.

"Are you going to join me before I escort the four of you back to your dormitories or shall I just give you detention and get it over with?" he questioned calmly, his back remaining to me. Slowly, I edged my way around the table, knowing he would not harm us but afraid of the stares of the men who brought me down here.

Even as we sat in silence, I could feel the stares, none were as intense as those of the men who had captured my father, and none were trying to see through anything, just understand what was occurring. Feeling a hand rest on top of my own, I looked up to see Remus gazing at me with concern from across the table, his honey brown eyes revealing an intense emotion which was foreign to me.

Keeping my gaze focussed on Remus, I felt a hand ghost over my cheek, before the touch grew stronger. Jerking away from the touch, I looked to Sirius, his eyes trained on the tips of his fingers, the tears he'd brushed from my cheek residing there. Reaching my own hand up, I touched my cheek, tears remaining on my fingertips, surprising me yet my gaze remained on Sirius' eyes, the expression of shock he showed.

"Time for bed you four," the Professor spoke after a moment, standing as he looked to us. Slowly, I stood, moving away from Sirius and back to Remus' side, knowing he would help me feel safe even though we barely knew each other. I felt safe at his side and no one else's; he was the only one who could protect me or at least that's how I felt at that moment.

Following the Professor up the stairs, Remus' hand remained on the small of my back, Sirius and James on the other side of him, silently following us up to the common room. It was like I finally had a home in a place that could only led me to the destruction of all those I loved. Even as we reached the portrait hole, the Professor turned to face us, his eyes immediately trained on me, his gaze filled with sympathy as he bid us all goodnight with just a look.

Stepping into the common room, I felt the tears begin to fall again, all three men behind me and unable to see my tears, so instead of stopping to face them, I fled, leaving them behind, running from those I knew I would come to love. Hearing them call after me, I continued to run up the stairs, away from one set of friends and into the arms of another which was unexpected to me.


	9. Chapter 9

Lily had gone to bed hours earlier; I remained seated at the window, gazing out the window to the grounds, over the lake, watching the ripples across the water as the creatures within the water disturbed the surface. Even as the sun began to rise the shadows of the castle splayed over the grounds, giving a peach tinge to the grounds, drawing me into the beauty and peacefulness of the one place I had only ever seen in complete dismay.

Moving cautiously, I made my way around the dormitory, stepping into the bathroom and shedding the clothes I had been wearing for the entire night. For the first time since my father I had been killed, I looked into the mirror, finally seeing the scars that the men had caused to remain as a constant reminder of what had occurred.

Conjuring a set of scissors, I attacked my hair, shedding the excess hair that reminded me of my father, something he always loved about me. I was getting rid of something that allowed people to haul me back to them, allowing them to have a hold over me physically, even if they never knew it. Finally stepping into the shower, my hair only fell to barely below my shoulders, severely shorter than when it reached my waist. Even as I cleaned myself, attempting to rid myself of the memories that surfaced with thinking of my father, I felt as though I was trying to begin again, forget everything that had occurred.

Stepping back into the dormitory, my towel was wrapped firmly around my chest, silence inhibiting every aspect of the room although it wasn't empty. Even as I pulled on my jeans, I knew the silence was a new beginning, a change that would hopefully allow me to get passed the visions that haunted my sleep. Pulling my shirt over my head, it hung loosely across my body, allowing me not to feel self conscious as I stepped towards the stairs, a jacket clasped in my hand just in case.

Cautiously, I made my way through the common room, before making my way out of the portrait hole, down the staircases and to the great hall. It was empty, not even the professor's were sitting at the staff table. I was alone again.

As I ate, the silence welcome, even though I knew it was dangerous for me to remain alone. I was meant to be surrounded by people, safe in a school I knew would be destroyed in the future. Hearing the boisterous laughter as a group of people entered the hall, the professor's finally appearing at the head table, bodies falling heavily into the seat's around me.

"You left early this morning? Sleep well after last night?" Sirius questioned from my left, surprising me.

"Sleep? Such a strange term which does well in eluding me," I replied, knowing the men around me would understand. Looking to my right, Lily had a look of surprise on her face as she reached up and touched the ends of my hair cautiously, causing me to smile.

"What did you do?" she questioned, sitting on the other side of Remus to my right.

"I wanted a change and also to get away from reminders of my father," I breathed, leaning into Remus' side and resting my head on his shoulder, gaining comfort that wasn't exactly needed.

"It looks good at least, just not expected," she said, piling her plate as the others began to eat as well. I watched people around the hall, observing how they interacted and how some stared at me. A set of eyes caught my attention, the familiar face one that drew me in and reminded me of who my father avoided here.

"Who is she?" Remus asked, following my line of sight to the girl across the room.

"I met her when I was a little kid, her father works with my brother, or they did when I was younger. I haven't seen her in years, I don't remember much about her, just that we've met and that she could recognise me," I breathed, knowing he was the only one who could hear me.

"You don't want anyone to know who you are?" he questioned quietly.

"No one is meant to know I'm here," I replied, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me closer.

"I'm glad you are, you don't judge me and you're nice," he said, kissing my temple. It felt like he wanted to be more than the friends we were, but I knew it was to do with the wolf in him, it was longing for a contact with something that could be seen as familiar. Nuzzling into the crook of his neck, he gave a noise of content, as he nuzzled in return, giving my shoulders a squeeze.

"So animalistic," I murmured, gaining laughter. Feeling a knee brush my thigh, I panicked a moment, my mind quickly processing the proximity of the other people in the hall, my gaze looking down to see Sirius' thigh angled towards me, obviously touching my limb.

"You two look so much like a couple," James spoke up from across the table as my gaze reached Sirius', our eyes locking for a moment. Pulling out of Remus' hold, I picked at the piece of toast that remained on my plate, not hungry, just distracting myself from the conversations that surrounded me. Feeling an elbow gently poke in my side from the left, I looked curiously up at Sirius, who just smiled before he continued with his own food. His actions surprised me, he didn't speak but he made me feel normal.

Slowly the room began to empty, Remus helping me to my feet before leading me from the hall, with his friends following. We were both silent, despite the laughter that followed, my hand tucked into his, which felt normal, as though it should have occurred every day. As we sat inside another room, Lily also sat beside me, Remus remaining close as Sirius, James and Peter sat behind us, my hand remaining in the hold that it was in on the journey up.


	10. Chapter 10

I was bored, unable to perform magic because I had no wand, all I could do was sit there and watch, frustrated with the rules. Near the end of the class, Lily caught my hand, distracting me from the point I had been staring at in frustration. Glancing up at her, she looked passed me to where I was staring, causing me to look back to see a smouldering point in the bricks, my magic having focused on the point.

Pulling my hand back, I gave the Professor an apologetic look, his returning look allowing me to know I wasn't in trouble. They all knew I wasn't allowed to do magic, but I sometimes couldn't help myself, it was so natural to do so. Closing my eyes, I lay my head onto my arms folded on the desk, waiting for the class to be over, unsure as to the reason I was actually attending classes.

"Demi, class has finished," Lily breathed, shaking my shoulder gently, rousing me from my short sleep. Clambering to my feet, I reluctantly followed her out, the men usually surrounding us ahead of her, leaving me to trail behind, observe in the way I was content to do.

Reaching another classroom, I recognised it from the previous day, another class my magic was inaccessible in; a frustration to me. Laying my head down again, I rested my chin on my arms, staring at the front of the class, unaware of what was going on around me.

Someone was suddenly prodding my side painfully, drawing me back to what was going on around me, back into the classroom rather than my thoughts. Turning to face the person, I glared, annoyed at the action, only to look into the smiling face of Sirius. He handed me a wand, one that felt unfamiliar in my hand but allowed a way to direct the magic that was bubbling inside me.

"Thought you might want to do something," he said, turning to face James and laughing to someone across the room.

"It's not right but thank you," I replied, gaining his attention again, handing back his wand, knowing it would be dangerous for me to hold onto it. His eyes showed his curiosity, as I rested my head down again, facing him this time to observe as he continued to do the class work. He glanced at me occasionally a goofy smile on his face as he tried to show off, his confidence causing me to smile.

"Your attention please," the Professor called, everyone immediately turning to face her, causing me to sit up and listen to what she was about to announce. "This year you are required to learn the basics of wandless non-verbal magic, which is what we are about to begin. I suggest you start with learning to shield first, now please partner up," she continued, causing me to smile as the rest of the class reluctantly stowed their wands into their bags.

Smiling, I felt a hand touch my shoulder hesitantly, causing me to look up into the face of Remus, a question held in his eyes. Nodding, I stood from the chair and followed him to a less crowded section of the room, his hands visibly shaking as we positioned ourselves facing each other.

"Relax, if your tense or panicking it won't help, it makes it harder. Take a deep breath Remus," I explained, signalling I was waiting from him to try and attack me or put up his own shield.

"How can you know where it's going to go?" he asked hesitantly.

"Concentrate, either intensely so or with your hand. Don't try to force it, just envision what you want to happen, and think over the spell that you want to perform," I explained further, watching as he slowly drew in a breath, his gaze focussed on me in a glare. He stood side on, arm outstretched to point his finger at me, concentration clear in his expression while I stood waiting for him, a shield already surrounding me but unknown to anyone surrounding us.

Feeling magic press against the shield, before being deflected, I smiled proudly, knowing the origin was from the man before me. He was watching closely, eyes lighting up as I smiled to him, content with his achievement.

"Now, how many of you succeeded?" the Professor questioned, calling out through the unfamiliar silence that filled the room. Only a few students raised their hands; Lily, James, and Remus included, while Sirius and Alice watched them unhappily. Suddenly the professor turned to me, before continuing. "Miss Calixtus, I believe a demonstration for those who are here would be beneficial. Not all of you will be able to perform to this level but you should be able to summon, stun or disarm your opponent if you are without your wand," she explained, the class moving to surround us. Watching her in disbelief, I felt her magic flare before she sent of the spell, hands remaining at her side and lips pursed.

Erecting my shield again, it became more visible, my own spell being sent in response, yet being batted away by her. As my shield fell, she sent another, a stunner which I deflected with a raise of my hand, using the other to send another spell. Neither could touch the other, the Professor seeing the last of my magic gone, incidentally forcing me to my knees.

"Explain why you feel drained," she called, moving to lower herself into a chair.

"Magic is strongly linked to energy, eventually if you dual without a wand, you will drain the energy stores you have. It also depends on the strength of your spells and how conditioned you are to doing wandless magic," I stated; her head nodding as I spoke.

"Class dismissed, Mr Lupin please aid Miss Calixtus to the Great Hall for lunch," she replied. Feeling hands help me to my feet, I leaned heavily into the hold, whimpering as I felt my muscles tense reactively. An arm was wrapped around my back, my own arm draped over a set of shoulders as I let my eyes close, while I was led down stairs and through hallways.

Feeling myself being lowered into a seat, I opened my eyes again, another set of arms preventing me from falling when I was finally in the seat. Seeing Sirius' face beside me as he held me upright, I turned to find Remus on my other side again, climbing into his own seat. Remaining in his hold, I reached out for a piece of bread, all those around us immersed in conversation, and slowly began to eat, my magic subconsciously reaching out and checking the food was safe as I reached for it.

Even though I was able to sit upright after regaining my energy, I felt comfortable being held by Sirius, something about him familiar and made me want to be closer to him. As we began to head towards our afternoon classes, I felt his absence as I was returned to Remus' side and he returned to James', the two friends laughing freely. All I could do was watch, as he walked ahead of me, a hand clasping my own, ensuring I went the right way.


End file.
